No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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