so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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