You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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