how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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