Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
