I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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