Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
