So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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