I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
