woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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