Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Drunk is not a location!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
