Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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