One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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