are you still at the devil's house?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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