If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
