The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
