Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm bleeding and have questions
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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