you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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