Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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