i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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