I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
