everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
