But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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