you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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