Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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