I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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