I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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