i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize