i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize