We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
