Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The power of my boobs compel you
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
