We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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