It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
