Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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