I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
