The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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