And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
