just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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