Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
