My hand turned me down
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
