he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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