And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
