So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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