is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
