Christians are straight up FREAKS
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
