And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
