One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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