Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
