I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
