I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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