The maid of honor just puked.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
