Your face is a jimmy john
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm like, not good at living.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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