I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
