she looked like the before picture.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
