Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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