hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
