Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
